The Graceful Art of Surrender
I had a lot of things to do today - after walking my son to school I had a 9.15am phone meeting planned and my day was pretty well scheduled from there. A haircut, taking my car in to get the tyres rotated, going to the bank to sort some stuff out, home to do some healthy lunchbox baking - all of these exciting, adult-y things, and more, were on my to-do list for the day, which is always a big one on Tuesdays as it's the one day that I don't teach any classes during the daytime. But wouldn't you know it, my mini-me is under the weather, coughing and snuffly and with a temperature to top things off.
With a kid that needs to be in bed today, and a bunch of stuff to do that involves being out and about, my sighs of frustration could probably be heard up and down the street. We've all been there - the best laid plans, and all that. Delayed flights. Traffic jams. The supermarket being out of that one thing you need to make the dinner you've planned. The unexpected happens, and we can either sigh and stomp and be a big drama queen about it all (it's possible that I may, on occasion, have chosen this option), or we can suck it up and let it go, which sounds simple, but seems to present more of a challenge. Because let's face it, we love to hang on to shit - the good, the bad and the ugly. All of it.
So I try not to be hard on myself when I find it so damn difficult sometimes to let go of what I want to happen, and surrender to what is. I take a deep breath, and remember that this is why I practice yoga. I remind myself that whether I accept it with grace or not, this day will be what it will be. I move some of those to-do things to tomorrow's list (when they may or may not get done, pipes up a little voice in my head, but I sternly tell it to shush and go away), and reflect that perhaps a day spent at home - with a 9-year-old who needs his mummy today, and where I can still do the baking, and update my website, and make some phone calls - is not necessarily a bad thing. It may, in fact, be absolutely perfect. I inhale, and feel light and open to whatever arises. I exhale, and let go of the need for control that I'm clinging to. And just like that, I surrender. And I realise that it's really not so hard after all.